So I had talked to all these people before. All of them. Chris had tried some things with me before. I’d hung out with Nikolas and Nils. Talked a bit with lazurus. Amine was in Budapest once in a while. I felt quite welcome, and quite happy to be there. Everything I’d seen so far told me that these guys seemed, at the very least, like good guys. They would do their best.
We were a couple of dudes from around the world. We were a real different bunch. We had to talk a bit about ourselves, into a camera.
I complained about this, I was like why is there a fucking camera here when we’re about to talk about real awkward sensitive shit.
“Don’t worry about it, you’ll understand in the end.”
This is the very first thing that rubbed me the wrong way. Everything else so far had clicked. Everything else, could be explained, and made sense. But now there was no explaination for having to talk about this stuff into a camera…? It rubbed me the wrong way, to say the least. But I trusted the guys.
There was some general reluctance in all of us to speak into the camera. But during the Immersion this shifted. Not even knowing why they were doing it, people would say “give me the camera”. This is truly amazing. People would go out of their way to conform to this outlandish thing on their own – like accepting some foreign custom, being peer pressured into a shitty behaviour, and then just picking it up as your own. I’m sure there is a great lesson about manipulation here you could use, if you delve deeper into it.
I think the first exercise we did was to write down the factors that needed to be present to pull and have sex with a girl within an hour from the club. Then simplify these as much as possible. We repeated this exercise almost daily, sometimes more than once daily.
Again we did this with no explanation as to why. I did not understand it, but I did it anyway. If it had an effect on me, it was a pretty shitty effect. I’ve pulled within an hour before. I pulled within 10 minutes before.
…But that was always a matter of chance. You find some incredibly horney chick who’s all alone. Now I was actually trying to pull within an hour as a baseline. I felt very stressed. Usually it takes me way longer than an hour. Chris later modified this exercise to two hours, just for me.
Also, every day we did journaling. Writing down what we felt, and what actions we took. No explaining to what’s the point either. I didn’t like it. I failed to see how writing in this way could have any kind of impact. I still did it, and continued to do it for half a year after the immersion. All the time I felt like I wasted my time. I had previously been writing a report every night anyway, to get some feedback on, and make me consider what I could improve.
I still feel incredible reluctance to this type of writing. It led me down into a very dark place in the end.
—-So anyway, we went out. I was used to going out solo by now, but by the end of the night, I susually was looking for someone to help me pull the two-sets. -But as a baseline, I was solo. We went to this latin club again, and I felt like I didn’t really want to approach. Nils told me to not approach if i didn’t feel like it. So I didn’t.
I saw this hot girl all alone. I almost had a reflex to go for it. It’s an opportunity. But then I analyzed my feelings, and I wasn’t sure that I, in that moment, really wanted to. So I didn’t.
This was the beginning of my current predicament. When I deconstructed my old habits, that I’ve built up for years to help me along, to cover my blind spots, etc. Sure, I didn’t always want to go out (most of the time I didn’t wanna go out), but I went out anyway, like clockwork. It was a habit. Some of the nights where I dreaded it the most, I pulled. I went out sick. Last time I went out sick I pulled one of the hottest chicks I’ve ever been with, under the magic influence of the hard drug – paracetamol.
I didn’t always want to approach. In fact, most of the times, in the beginning of the night, I DIDN’T want to approach at all. This was something that naturally was improving though, as I was getting better results, through just expressing myself. So some nights now, despite years of forcing myself to approaching, and building a habit towards that – I just wanted to approach from the get-go. Such a relief. So beautiful. But if I DIDN’T feel that way, I still approached.
And I kept at it until there was no sets left with beautiful girls in the club, in the next club, and in the next club after that. I’d go home being proud of myself.
Now though, I was doubting even the first step. Did I want to approach this girl? Did I want to keep talking to her? Etc etc.
As I was doubting even this very baseline stuff, my nights would get increasingly bad from this point on, as I was really being stuck inside my own head, with my emotions that turned increasingly bad.
Eventually Lazarus crystallized out as my coach, and was with me every night. He would really harp on this point.
“LET IT GO,” he would scream. “ACCEPT THAT YOU WILL **NEVER** GET LAID AGAIN.”
I was like WTF are you talking about.
“Let ALL of this game shit go. ALL OF IT. You don’t have to do ANYTHING. And the more you think you have to do, the less of a natural you are. Don’t do ANYTHING you don’t want to do. Nothing. If you don’t want to talk to the girl, walk away.”
This guy was really shitting in my brain on a daily basis. I’d talk to a girl, hit a hump in the conversation where it was uncomfortable – and then I would leave. Who knew, it could actually be taxing to meet new people before. I hadn’t even thought of that. Maybe I really didn’t want to do this. I invariably sucked ass whenever Lazarus was with me, and I was getting worse every day.
But one night at least, he went home early. I was free. I approached a girl like I usually would. I was still a bit fucked up, I felt like a broken radio somehow, with disturbing frequencys messing me up. Whenever I hit a low in the conversation, I just told her how I felt, and I ended up pulling her. Outside of her appartment though, she didn’t want to let me in. This was a problem for me, I’d been pulling quite a lot recently – several times per week some weeks, but many times I lost the girl at the door. I was working out how to get in with her. This girl just needed an excuse. She didn’t wanna feel like a slut. I didn’t tell her an excuse, I was sticking to the program. She didn’t let me in, even though I was super honest, telling her I felt bad that she didn’t let me in (I don’t remember exactly what I said) – and I walked home alone.
The next few days was more of the same. I started to get people hitting me up online, because they saw pictures of me. I’m a pretty well known character in community, and now people were sending me messages like “Are you taking the immersion..???! How is it?”
Turns out social prime was taking all these pictures of us, and just posting online. They never asked if they could do this. It seemed to me they wanted to prove that they had students on their immersion to all other people who might be talking shit about them.
THAT IS NOT MY CONCERN. I didn’t pay for you to put up pictures of me. You didn’t even ask if you could. Every day from now on I had new people asking about social prime. I felt like my privacy had been violated in some way.
There was a lot of talk of us having to sign a contract as well, we were first about to pay the full fee, most of us had just paid the deposit. Nils was personally in contact with me asking me to pay in full. I did. The next day, after already having paid, I got the contract.
Such a broken fucking mess. I will not sign that shit. I WISH they had shown me that contract FIRST, before asking me to pay – like in every other similar business interaction. Like proffessionals, not like scumbags.
For instance, you give your permission to have them use your photage as marketing material, so they can put up all these videos about you talking about your deep problems. If you ask, they can blur your face. No way. As a professional Medical Doctor, working in psychiatry I could NEVER do this to our patients. In fact, WE DOCTORS have to sign a contract of NON-DISCLOSURE. I am legally FORBIDDEN to say anything that can make you even identify ANY of my patients. If I have a partner, I can not even talk to her about my day. Much less, post pictures online without permission, record videos and post them too, and spread them around as much as possible. Good God, the difference here is just staggering.
My second pull
Alright, this was about to be the very last pull I did for the next 11 months (written 05/04/2020 – still no pull). That is correct, you heard me right. Before the immersion, I was pulling 1-2 times per week. After, I didn’t even pull a single girl. NOT ONE. After 12 years in game, this basically led me to have a depression, and being incredibly full of anxiety. I don’t even want to write this since it takes me back. The time after the immersion, as I was being coached by Chris still, is probably one of the WORST episodes in my life. I would rather go through a full year of military again than take a 2 week immersion.
While I think it is really bad for me to delve into this – I actually just want to forget about it – I also do believe, I have to share this. I’ve written some negative stuff on social prime before, only to have it removed. I’m sure there are positive results, but the negative needs to be there as well. Everyone should go into a 5 grand deal with as much CORRECT information as they can, this is a lot of money, for most people here.
Now, in his latest endevour Chris has expressedly written that negative reviews ARE NOT ALLOWED: You will not publish any unapproved testimonial on other platforms or take any actions that might damage the reputation of the company, the program or myself.
This is the full FB post where this is expressed, as well as a picture link if the post gets edited.
Such incredibly horrible business practises. There would not be a need to forbid negative reviews, if they actually delivered on their exaggerated promises.
In fact, Chris was reading a new book during the Immersion, he told us, if we were lucky he might implement some of that stuff with us. Then he laughed and said, maybe this is all just a scam, and we just tell you to go around do stupid shit? Wouldn’t that be funny?
I looked around at the table (this was maybe a week in). I hadn’t seen ANY distinct change in anyone around the table. There was maybe one guy who was almost a bit mentally cracked before, who seemed a bit more stable. But to me, they all just looked miserable. Even more so now, that they were encouraged to be upfront about it. I don’t know if any of us fucked a single girl that immersion. I think there was a german guy who was on a date, maybe he fucked. So maybe 1 out of 6 students possibly had sex during a 2 week program. I usually had sex with a new girl every 2 weeks (I didn’t manage to have sex with everyone I pulled), but I didn’t get laid.
I took offense by this outburst. Maybe we’re just scamming you. I started to feel pretty scammed, without you actually pushing it in my face. I see why they would legally need you to sign that you cannot write negative reviews. I can see why they remove negative content from their facebook group. Isn’t this all about honesty after all?
—-Now back to the second pull…
Now this was actually interesting. Chris was giving me some personalized attention.
I think Chris probably has a good eye for some things, but he’s got an issue with listening. Seeing we’ve already had a few days together now, I think he was getting the grip of me a little bit. He told me, not to say a single thing, that wasn’t 100% true. Also – no questions. No chit-chat. No “excuse me” as you approach.
I approached this girl, and I said Hi, then, I think you’re cute – then nothing. I didn’t know what to say. Couldn’t ask her anything. No chit chat. I just looked at her.
Chris jumped in the set. He said something (I don’t remember quite what) – “tell her how you feel”.
“I feel a bit awkward” I told the girl.
“Ok.” She said.
Silence. I looked at her. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t really have much meaningful stuff to say to a stranger. I kept looking at her. Chris said:
“I can’t help you man.”
This was actually hilarious.
“Take her for a coffee”.
“Would you like to come for a coffee?”
What followed was the most cringy date of my life. There was just silence interspaced with me telling her I felt nervous or weird. I jumped on her bus with her, and we ended up outside her appartment. She didn’t let me in.
She studied psychology. I really felt like she just embraced the weirdness of it all as an experiment. I didn’t really feel sexworthy or that I had provided her with anything at all of value. I have a hard time seeing this as something repeatable.
This was my very last pull until today.
Ah, the time travel. The famed time travel. It started with meditation for 20 minutes, then Lazarus asked me to lay back on his bed, and he started asking me questions. It was like 5 hours of having someone listening to you, while they just asked questions.
This is something that I might have had some use out of actually – in a proffessional sense. The day after already, I did something similar to a girl I knew that called me – just over phone. And I think I do something akin to this sometimes with my patients.
We were going backwards in time, to my experiences as a young boy. When I felt we were actually getting somewhere, that I hadn’t explored on my own yet, Lazarus stopped. He had reached some conclusion (and I could also see on him that he was tired). I felt a bit dissatisfied that we didn’t push on.
His conclusion was something like “I didn’t want to take up time and space, because I wanted to be a good boy, else my mother would ignore me”. Something along those lines. I was supposed to read this every day, and reflect over it.
This is also a time when Lazarus brought this up with the scams. He’d tell me that other programs were all scams. I held my tounge.
In hindsight, I didn’t really get much from the time travel. I did reflect over this thing Lazarus told me. I think there was some truth to it, but it wasn’t all of the truth, and it wasn’t the deepest truth. As I felt with much of the program, I felt this was well intended, it was close to greatness, but it actually missed the mark so much that it probably diverted me more from improvement than helping me along.
Throughout the immersion I felt more and more confused. They told me what to do. It didn’t work. I had been getting results by following their teaching for half a year, getting coaching from both Chris and Nils online. Learning to be OK with myself, and getting laid along the way. The worst thing now is that I started to doubt what they were teaching. Doubt what has already been working. If they are soo bad at teaching this stuff, hands on, maybe, it’s actually the wrong stuff…? As confidence fails, confidence in your vulnerable self, and showing it – in being OK, it put me in a pretty shitty place. I was just starting down that miserable path.
Last day I brought it up. I told them, I feel so confused. Nothing is working. I feel worse than ever.
“That exactly how it’s supposed to be”, Chris told me. We were all sitting together, all of us, in our last day. Chris wanted us to do something fun for the last day together, he was considering having us all throw eggs at one of the other pickup-guy’s house in Warsaw.
However, they insured me I was on the right path. I looked each of them in the eyes, and they told me the same thing, each single one. I’m supposed to be confused. It’s a hallmark of progress, after 2 weeks of immersion.
I was about to get my money back right there and then. But I looked around. I think, if I had asked for my money back, EVERY SINGLE STUDENT would as for his money back. It would be a shit fest. Better take it in private later, if this stuff still doesn’t work.
Last night in Krakow I went out with one of the students. He looked a bit fucked up somehow, but he had garnered some not-giving-a-fuck about the experience.
“I just want to dance” he told me.
As he danced away on his own. This guy looked great, he looked like a keeper. He closed his eyes and twirled on the dancefloor. He didn’t talk to a single girl. Not one. I approached like 3, I got insta-rejected, as my wing danced the night away. He was happy not to approach. Then he went home.
“Being happy about not getting laid” would be the headtitle for the Social prime immersion. I’ve even heard other students say it. Now I also saw it.